High School Without The Musical
by Khaleesi Khupcakes
Summary: 'Our Heroes' meet someone and go to music camp, school and reunite with a whole bunch of people from past episodes. Stupid summary, in progress, will add more chapters as soon as I write them. T for a bit of perverseness/Cynthia abusing Lucian...
1. Let's all make some new friends

**High School Without The Musical.**

**i do not own Pokemon or Lady Gaga's "Alejandro" Or anything else mentioned that someone else invented.  
**

**This fanfic explains A LOT about my other Pokemon fanfics, so pay attention!**

**Ash Ketchum: July 17, 2010.  
**

**Fallon arrived at the Hearthome contest hall in a fitted black dress and hot pink stilettos. I got there in a black T-shirt and skinny jeans that I had tattooed with Sharpie yesterday. Brock's eyes widened and Dawn scoffed. She thinks she's the best-looking girl alive. This Goddess-of-Beauty Fallon is a famous new coordinator who is apparently dating a heavy metal star. Lucky me. my competition is some bad-boy who's rich daddy probably bought Fallon a Pokemon farm. I hope his name is Ash... when we entered the contest hall we saw Fallon run over to some emo in a riveted dress shirt and skinny jeans, unlike mine, his make him look attractive. Me, Brock and Dawn make our way slowly over to them and Fallon swings her long, black, amazing hair around to look at us. Her creepy boyfriend scrutinizes me with his steely blue eyes. When we reach them, he stares at us then says in his weird tone,**

**"Ash, right?"**

**"yeah, who're you?" where have I seen this guy before?**

**"do the words 'forest' and 'sing' mean anything to you?"**

**"yes... but... you look nothing like... the clothes... you're not...you're so...NANDO?" by the look on his face I can tell he thinks I'm a total idiot now.**

**"yeah, maybe because I'm not wearing a dress I picked up a girlfriend" (Fallon grins) Nando cracks a Poke-ball and out hops a Kricketune in teeny shoes that look like torture devices and a padlock necklace. Fallon caresses his shoulder and he embraces her harder. Lucky creep. My eyes heat up and a look passes over Brock's face like a thundercloud. Dawn scowls then whines,**

**"Nando, is your daddy rich?"**

**"I guess, does a executive producer for infomercials count?"**

**"wow... I find you... attractive now...can I touch your hair?"**

**Nando and Fallon look at each other, wait a second, then back up a step. Fallon watches as her creepy casanova takes off down the hall with Dawn in hot pursuit.**

**"see you in the contest." I suddenly realize she is crouching to look me in the eye. some people do not grow right, I'm one of them.**

**Dawn approaches me from behind. "Your mouth's open."**

**The contest begins with the voice of that Marylin person shouting out,**

**"ARE YOU READY! ARE YA SURE!" Someone screams back, "SHUT UP ALREADY!" from backstage. Nando, obviously. A girl with a seriously overweight Wigglytuff runs onstage and starts randomly using Pound, The obese Wigglytuff wobbles as it slams th**e** floor. The coordinator grins and hands it a badly painted sign.**

** GO MILEY.**

** (applause)**

**Wigglytuff wallops the floor again and Dawn begins to cheer as the pair run off. Everyone in the stadium turns to stare at her. She sits down. The next performance is an elderly couple in line dancing outfits with a Ponyta and a Chansey. They dance around in a very rehearsed-looking choreography until the Chansey finds a piece of chocolate encrusted in the floor and tries to pick it out. The line stops dancing and follows each other offstage, Chansey holding the age-old truffle in it's pink hands. Finally Nando comes onstage in black pleather pants and platforms, him and his Pokemon are wearing emo makeup. Sunflora takes out a teeny guitar and starts playing something OBNOXIOUSLY LOUD. The Roserade is playing a keytar decorated with drawings of skulls and human hearts. Ew. Nando hands Jigglypuff (since when!) a microphone, the emo-ishly dressed Jigglypuff begins to sing into the microphone and everyone claps, I hear Dawn mutter from next to me, **

**"Amateur."**

**We meet Nando backstage, he hands us each a brochure, **

**"Starts in 2 days, please come." Sunyshore Music Camp.**

**"Sounds good, I'll come," Me and Brock announce in unison, Dawn is stuck sounding out 'Sunyshore."**

**"SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU...NYE...SA...HOW...RRRRRRRRRRRR?" What an idiot. **

**The next day, Brock and I pack our bags. Brock is ranting about seeing Fallon there,**

**"I know I've fallen hard for a lot of other girls, but Fallon makes me rethink all that, y'know, she's so beautiful, and how long is she gonna keep dating that freak, anyway?"**

**"Brock, you are the guy who tought me the meaning of the word 'polygamy', how long can you even stay _in love _with one girl?"**

**"I guess pretty long..."**

**"_RIIIIIIGHT..." _Dawn comes into our room, We're staying at a Pokemon center. **

**"I hate Fallon, she's stealing you, Ash. I love you." Her vacant eyes are staring right at me, that freak.**

**"Oh, really, I like her, and I think she likes me back."**

**"No! She can't! You're mine, Ash!"**

**"Aw, zip it, both of you! She's mine, Ash, you can have Dawn."**

**"I don't _want _Dawn!"**

**"Well, I want you, Ash!" Dawn leaps onto me, licking my nose.**

**Nando enters our room (without knocking!) and his eyes pop out of his sexy head.**

**"Oh, God." **

**"Hi."**

**

* * *

**

**We get to this music camp on a bus. We are assigned cabins immediately. I'm in a cabin with Nando, some Harley Davidson, Brock, and some Lucian Mitchell. 3 other guys are already in the cabin. Nando, Brock and some other kid. **

**"Ash, this is Harley." Harley waves. His face, hair and butt are familiar. **

**"Do I know you?"**

**"Possibly." His voice is kind of screechy. He has perfect skin. And he has already stolen the bottom bunk on the right side. Where I usually sleep. **

**"Are you a coordinator?"**

**"Yep, 2 points for Ash Ketchum."**

**"Are you Cacturne-freak?"**

**"...Sure...Are you May-lover?"**

**"Ew and yes, I guess."**

**"Is she here?" An evil grin spreads across his face.**

**"Not that I know of."**

**"Okay. Go look for Lucian." Nando orders. "He's probably hiding in the bathroom, with his keytar." Keytar? I step outside and scan the campus. Girls with guitars and Lord-knows-what-else run and screech and hug each other madly, I finally see another emo kid with a keytar and an Espeon talking to an African-American girl with long, straight brown hair. He looks right at me, his gray eyes covered by purple-tinted oval glasses, his lavender hair reaches his shoulders. The girl pulls his head close to hers and they lip-lock emotionally. The Espeon and the girl's Raichu are deep in Pokemon-conversation, squeaking back and forth at each other, I approach him.**

**"Are you Lucian Mitchell?" He holds up the Espeon and shows me a handful of his hair.**

**"What...do you think?"**

**"I think you're a rude grape."**

**"Grape...Who's rude now...?"**

**"Still you. So you _are _Lucian?"**

**"YES! I AM, AND DO NOT ASK ME FOR FLINT AUTOGRAPHS!"**

**"Elite Four, right?"**

**"_YES_, I am. Are you Ash?"**

**"YES, I am, now go back to the cabin." Lucian think this over then drops to the ground and starts convulsing on purpose, Espeon whips out a cell phone, its claw poised over the 9 button, **

**"ESPEON!"**

**"What?"**

**"ESPEOOOOOOOOOOON!" I kneel next to Lucian's face and hold it still. Suddenly, he stops pretending to have a seizure, grabs the front of my shirt and pulls me down to his face.**

**"I can make epilepsy overtake my body on demand-" He lets go, "And you're gullible." We stand up. **

**"So you were _actually _having a seizure?" Lucian goes red, then puce, then blue, then yellow, his hand shoots up, pointing to me,**

**"MISS WOODS! ASH CALLED ME A SPAZZ!" The camp director's wife turns to me, Lucian smiles. "AND A GRAPE!"**

**That night we have our first concert, Steve Woods shouts,**

**"And now, please give a warm S.M.C welcome to Lady Gaga!" A tall girl with a bone-straight platinum blonde wig sashays onstage, takes the microphone, and stares with deep blue eyes into the audience.**

**"My name is Levy Wilson, but please refer to me as Levy, Lady Gaga, or That Hot Girl. And now, for my first song, Alejandro!" She turns her head to the right and then belts the song into the mic. All them guys in the audience are mesmerized as she undulates and sways and whatever else she does. On the last note, tosses her head back and sighs theatrically. Everyone claps madly. **

**"Thank you, so much, this next song goes out to Conway Wright!" Some nerd with a black-mushroom cut stands up and waves.**

**"I love you, Conway."**

**"THANK YOU LADY GAGA!" Steve interrupts.**

**"Okay, kids, keep it clean, up next we have 'Bootylicious' by Harley Davidson!" Laughter is scattered around the barn. Harley stands up and walks onstage, he begins shaking his butt. Calling girls onstage,**

**"Fallon, can ya handle this, Natalia, can ya handle this, Ramira, can ya handle this, I don't think they can handle this-" Harley is thrusting more than Levy! Nando hands me a note scribbled on a candy wrapper, 'Harley got it goin on.' As Harley is being disgusting, A skinny, black-haired girl with a flower in her hair flips over the bench behind us and runs onstage, jumps on Harley and scream, "HARLEY DAVIDSON I LOVE YOU!" as he sings the last few words, Steve sees that as his cue to shout, **

**"OUR NEXT PERFORMANCE, JOSEFINA CHARLESTON, AKA, JO$EF!NA!" The girl walks slowly and gracefully to the microphone. And sings,**

** "Maybe I need some rehab, or maybe just need some sleep,  
I gotta sick obsession, I'm seeing' it in my dreams  
I'm looking down every alley, I'm making those desperate calls  
I'm staying up all night hoping, hitting my head against the walls!  
WHATCHU GOT BOY, IS HARD TOO FIND  
I THINK ABOUT IT, ALL THE TIME  
I'M ALL STRUNG UP MY HEART IS FRIED.  
I JUST CAN'T GET YOU OFF MY MIND  
BECAUSE  
YOUR LOVE YOUR LOVE YOUR LOVE  
IS MY DRUG  
YOUR LOVE YOUR LOVE YOUR LOVE  
YOUR LOVE YOUR LOVE YOUR LOVE  
IS MY DRUG  
YOUR LOVE YOUR LOVE YOUR LOVE..."**

**When Josefina finishes this song, the crowd explodes cheering, Josefina bows, the runs offstage. Nando is sweating next to me.**

**"That, that was my ex."**

**"Ex-_girlfriend_?"**

**"Yes. I left her in 8th grade for Fallon..."**

**"You idiot."**

**Back in the cabin, Harley, Lucian and Brock change behind beach towels strung on lengths of twine meant to serve as clotheslines for bathing suits. Nando breaks the silence.**

**"What are you taking?"**

**"What?"**

**"It's music camp, you get music lessons. you can take 1-4 at a time."**

**"Crap, I would've brought my guitar..." Nando tosses me a case.**

**"Here, you can use this one, I always bring a spare."**

**"Thanks." Harley joins in.**

**"I brought my guitar, and a spare, but Brock only plays piano."**

**"Well, sorry!"**

**"Don't apologize! Most Rock-type freaks here take piano anyway, like Roark."**

**"No way, is he _actually_ here?"**

**"Yeah, with Conway and Max."**

**"Who is _Max_?"**

**"May Marksman's brother, he's like, 9, genius, I babysit him sometimes, we put itching powder in her bras. It was funny." Harley demonstrates what May did. Someone knocks on our door. A tall, muscular guy with burgundy hair and rectangle glasses.**

**"Roark, hi?"**

**"They...are..._suffocating _me in there. Pi this, circumference that, they almost set the cabin on fire with their..." He shudders. "_Experiment..." _Nando is insensitive as usual.**

**"Awwww, poor baby, OH HI, CONWAY!" Roark jumps and screams. Lucian peeks out from behind his towel.**

**"He isn't there, Roark."**

**"Shoulda known. Hi Ash, Brock."**

**"Do I know you?"**

**"Oreburgh Gym." He flips a business card at me.**

**"Sure, okay."**

**"Harley Davidson, are you _hiding_ behind a towel? Are you hiding?"**

**"My butt's big."**

**"oh yeah, I saw your performance, very..._masculine_..."**

**"Yes. It was." Harley lifts the towel and steps out in boxers.**

**"Wow, you liar."**

**"WHAT?"**

**"Your butt is _not_ Bootylicious, or whatever you people call it."**

**"Harley," Nando interrupts, "No flash photography, please, none of us want to go the way of May." Roark and Harley are staring at each until the gong rings for snack.**

**DING DING DING "SNACK-TIME, CAMPERS, PLEASE REPORT TO THE LODGE FOR SNACK!" All of us rush out of the cabin, even half-naked Harley.**

**In the lodge everyone stares at Harley. he has no idea what's happening until Nando says quietly through his teeth.**

**Harley, go back to the cabin, get a shirt and come back, I will save you some food, just GO!"**

**"What? AGH!" He looks down at himself and screams. Everyone laughs, a girl with curly black hair walks by and smacks Harley on the butt.**

**"Nice booty, it looks even bigger in plaid."**

**"Shut UP, Rebbecca."**

**"Nando, are you a streaker too? I'm sorry, Bye." She walks away guffawing. Harley backs out slowly, Lucian standing in front of him.**

**"Go quick, it looks perv."**

**"I'M GOING! Cover me until I get inside." Harley and Lucian run outside, Roark and Brock attack the Jell-o. Nando loads himself with snacks, eventually dropping them down his shirt for safe-keeping.**

**"You are so weird."**

**"I know." We find a table, when we do, Nando whispers something across the table.**

**"Ash, remember when I wore those stupid clothes, got extensions and skipped around Sinnoh with that fake accent and harp?"**

**"Yeah..."**

**"Well, it was a lie. Forest noises ****annoy**** me, I'm allergic to flowers, I only like to go camping in a trailer, whenever I wear heels like that I pass out a few hours later and the gold paint on that harp inflamed my hands for 2 weeks. I only did that to try not to look like a juvenile delinquent all the time, remember when we were, what, 13? When I got accused of stealing that orb thing? The Jenny who arrested me saw me egg a strip club when I was 11. So, that idea back-fired. But when I found Fallon when I was 14, I dropped it because i had to have radio- never mind, she just kinda converted me."**

**"Radio- what?"**

**"Uh, it's kind of personal, I'll tell you tomorrow. It's a long story." Just then, Harley slides onto the bench next to me.**

**"Hi!" Lucian follows him.**

**"You took so long, it was one shirt, one shirt, and you tore apart the entire cabin looking for ONE SHIRT!"**

**"It had to be the black one with the blue stain on the back."**

**"You have more than 2 million black shirts!"**

**"My boxers are blue and black plaid."**

**"It's camp. In the woods. Nobody cares!" Nando wrecks their dispute.**

**"The two of you are _freaks_."**

**The next morning, Steve invites himself into our room.**

**"Hey guys!"**

**"Hi, Steeeeeeeeve..." We all moan. Harley (who is on the top right bunk now) deliberately rolls out of bed onto the floor.**

**"I'm up, Steve."**

**"I'm letting you boys sleep in because everyone gets to on the first few days, but, don't expect this every day, today I need you guys after lunch to clean the bathroom. Harley lifts his head to look at Steve,**

**"The _girl's _bathroom?"**

**"Both bathrooms."**

**"I'd rather remove my own fingernails with duct tape." Nando drops a pair of pants on his head.**

**"Josefina might be taking a shower..."**

**"Fine, I'm in."**

**"Good. Breakfast in an hour." Hearing the word breakfast, Brock jerks awake,**

**"FOOD!"**

**"Where's Roark?"**

**"It...was...HORRIBLE!" Harley answers loudly. "Conway and Max almost melted his glasses."**

**"Harley, you're exaggerating, AGAIN, they just dragged him inside and we haven't seen him yet." **

**"Nando, if you were an actor, it would suck. Everyone has to exaggerate once in a while, the world would be boring without it."**

**"CACTURNE!" screeches a pile of shoes. A tall cactus stands up and sits on Harley.**

**"Cacturne, please get off me."**

**"CAC!" It shrieks again, joined by a shrill "SUNFLORA!"**

**"Oh god."**

**"What?"**

**"Remember, how I used to have a Sunflora when I was dressed up like that...thing?"**

**"Yeah..."**

**"I kept the Pokemon. They're my sister's." The screeching flower climbs into Lucian's bed and under the covers. **

**"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! PLANT, TOUCHING, ME...EW!" Lucian wedges his body through the gap between the top and bottom bunks and the wall and lands on top of Brock, who screams. Sunflora makes herself comfortable in Lucian's sleeping bag and closes her eyes.**

**"suuuuuuuuun..."**

**"Get her ooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuut."**

**"Noooooooooooo, do it yourseeeeeeeeeelf."**

**"She's your poooooooookemon."**

**"You sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep there." Harley shuts them up.**

**"You are so anooooooooooyiiiiiiing."**

**"Fine." Nando whines, "I'll do it because you're too stupid to figure out how to take Sunflora out of the sheets." Lucian tosses a shoe at Nando and misses. Sunflora slides out of the bed and out the door.**

**"I'll get her." I finally say as she runs down the hill and down to the field and the border of the campus. All I hear as I exit is "Come back, Vaporeon!" Then I collide with someone, landing in a pile at the bottom of the hill.**

**"Sorry." says a female voice that I would know anywhere.**

**"Fallon?"**

**"hi, Ash. Your Pokemon escaping too?"**

**"Oh, she's Nando's, he just has to settle something with Lucian." Fallon hops onto a bale of hay in the field covered in dew. I follow.  
**

**"How long have you been coming here?" I ask.**

**"Since I was about 10, Vaporeon likes it." I glance toward Vaporeon and Sunflora, who are examining a blade of grass.**

**"I like it, and I've only been coming here for half a day."**

**"What are you taking?"**

**"Guitar."**

**"Oh, I'm in vocal and ballet, the dance program is really strict, I only got in because I'm half Japanese." She's so hot...  
**

**"Really, I'm, uh, excuse me a second." I flip over the back of the hay bale.**

**"OH GOD ARE YOU OKAY?"**

**"Yeah, I landed on a bush."**

**"Heh, I should go, Orientation starts in 2 minutes." Fallon slides off the hay and calls Vaporeon back into it's ball. Then walks back to her cabin. I go back to mine. **

**In the cabin, I find mayhem. Pokemon everywhere, my roommates and Roark all on Harley's bed. **

**"WHAT HAPPENED IN HERE? OUCH!" I turn around to find a Geodude pinching me with rock fingers.**

**"ASH, GET UP HERE NOW, IF YOU VALUE YOUR LIFE!" The gong dings.**

**"ORIENTATION, CAMPERS, ORIENTATION, GET DRESSED FOR ORIENTATION!" We all begin to change.**

**At Orientation, Steve gets up onstage in a top hat and Mardi Gras beads.**

**"GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD MORNING, CAMPERS!"**

**"GOOD MORNING, STEVE!" **

**"I HOPE YOU ARE ALL EXCITED TO BEGIN A NEW CAMP YEAR, BUT, I HAVE A FEW THINGS TO GO OVER BEFORE WE BEGIN OUR ORIENTATION! The rules, #1, There is no tolerance, whatsoever, for dirty performances, #2, No boys in girl's cabins and vice versa, #3, due to our vow to conserve water, please refrain from lengthy showers, #4, lights out is at 11:00, no exceptions, #5, senior bedtime is 10:30, junior bedtime is 10:00, juniors being all campers under the age of 11, #6, no nudity in public, please, Harley, #7, no looting food, we do not want bears and Ursaring coming into your cabins, #8, no violence on campus, #9, please do not insult people, and lastly, #10, absolutely NO skipping classes, Thank you, and now, the lovely Mrs Woods!" A tall woman walks onstage.**

**"Hello, campers! As many of you know, every year at S.M.C the campers are divided into houses, like in the famed Harry Potter books, and these houses are inspired by our yearly themes, and the theme this year is The Bayou, now I'm sure you seniors can't wait to hear who the group leaders are going to be, but first I have to name your animal groups, the first group is the Crawfish, led by Levy! Second is the Fireflies, led by Fallon! Third is the Possums, led by Lucian! Fourth is the Pelicans led by Roark! Fifth is the Bears led by Gary! Sixth is the Tree Frogs led by Harley! Seventh is the Catfish led by Josefina, and eighth is the Gators, led by...Dawn, so your groups will be competing for these beads," She holds up 3 necklaces, one green, one purple and one gold. "Green represents 5 points, purple 10 and gold is 50, and you can earn these Swamp points by doing odd jobs, entertaining younger campers, helping out with meals and answering trivia questions, and every night at 7:30, we will have a camp meeting down in the field to award these points, and at the end of the week, the house with the most points will be the winner and each member will have unlimited Tuck Shop credit." Everyone cheers. **

**I turn out to be on the Possums, with 6 six-year olds, Lucian, 'Conway' or whoever, and 2 bored-looking twelve-year old twins. Harley's group is next to us.**

**"Hey," says one of the six-year olds, "are you the kid who came into the lodge in your underwear yesterday?"**

**"Yes." Harley replies.**

**"Are you trying to get girls?"**

**"No, I have a girlfriend." Soledad, who just conveniently was put in his group, wraps her arms around his neck and squeals.**

**"Is that her?"**

**"Hell no."**

**"Good, is she the girl he jumped on you during Bootylicious?"**

**"Josefina?"**

**"Sure..."**

**"Yes."**

**"well, she's MINE!" Harley pats the kid's head.**

**"Awwww, you gotta little crush on Josefina, how sweet, I'm sure you'll find someone when you're old enough!"**

**"I kissed Lindsay Lohan!" His friend pops up from behind him,**

**"IT'S TRUE, I WAS THERE!"**

**"Are you trying to top my relationship status?"**

**"Yes. TOPPED!" Lucian is sharpening his nails.**

**"Just...be quiet, you're bothering Steve." A six-year old turns her head over to him.  
**

**"Can I call you Baby-Cheese?"**

**"What's that s'posed to mean?"**

**"It means you couldn't get a tan if you were lying on the sun."**

**"I'm naturally pale. And I seriously don't get what the color of my skin has to do with babies or cheese."**

**"Babies are pale, so is cheese, Baby-Cheese Mitchell. And BTW, dye your hair."**

**"When I was a baby, I kicked the doctor so hard, I broke his nose." another female six-year old lies. Harley joins in,**

**"When I was a baby, I had purple hair."**

**"You still do."**

**"I meant to say, I didn't choose to look like Baby-Cheese."**

**"Shut your face-gash." I try to settle things.**

**"Aren't we supposed to be listening to Steve?"**

**"He's not _saying _anything, other Baby-Cheese."**

**"Why, kid?"**

**"I have a name, it's Leanne." **

**"That's nice, and I have a name too, it's Lucian, Baby-Cheese is not my name."**

**"You still haven't answered my question 'Lucian', Can I call you Baby-Cheese or what?" Lucian turns blue, then puce, then green,**

**"Fine...call me Baby-Cheese..." Steve shouts an interruption, **

**"OKAY, WE'RE ALL ACQUAINTED, LET'S START MAKING OUR TIKI TORCHES!" Steve drops a torch in front of Lucian, Harley, and everyone else and tells us to decorate them with our team colors, we got purple.**

**"Okay, Baby-Cheese, gimme your head, I'm gonna pull some hair out."**

**"Okay, Leanne, get away from me!"**

**"No. I'm in your group. Steve said we AREN'T allowed to change!"**

**"I meant just...don't pull out my hair."**

**"Okey-dokey Baby-Cheese! I learned Okey-dokey from my grandma, she's a body-builder!" Lucian shudders, Leanne continues,**

**"My grandma even let me poke her muscles! They're pretty big, bigger than mine." Leanne flexes her arm. "She's gotta Afro! It's blue!"**

**That night after Orientation, just as I begin to fall asleep I hear Harley whisper to me,**

**"Ash?"**

**"Harley?"**

**"Yeah, I just wanted to tell you, if you think I'm not fully...male...I am. I just grew up without a father figure."**

**"I spent the last 10 years of my life without a father figure."**

**"Well, I spent the last the last 16 of mine. And I AM 16."**

**"I thought you were older."**

**"You were wrong."**

**"Goodnight, Harley."**

**"Goodnight, Ash."**

**The next morning, I wake to see Nando shaking me madly.**

**"GET UP GET UP GET UP GET UP GET UP GET UP GET UP GET UP GET UP!"**

**"Why?"**

**"BECAUSE EVERYONE SLEPT IN AND IT'S BACON DAY!" I drag myself out of the cabin. Nando has already changed, showered and applied a new mountain of eyeliner to his face.**

**"You should change."**

**"I know. Do you only wear eyeliner in the summer?"**

**"Nope. EVERY SINGLE DAY."**

**"Oh." HI FALLON!" I scream as a very damp Fallon tears across the campus from her cabin to the lodge,**

**"HI ASH! I'M WET BECAUSE I JUST SHOWERED!"**

**"OKAY!" I turn around to face Nando, he yells at me the same way,**

**"STAY AWAY FROM MY GIRLFRIEND!"**

**"OKAY!" **

**"GOOD!"**

**"LET'S STOP YELLING!"**

**"OKAY!" **

**We get into the lodge and sit together, but Steve pulls our chairs away, causing us to fall on our butts.**

**"WHAT WAS THAT FOR?"**

**"Nando, you know what it was for, I told everyone to sit with their groups, so go sit with your group, you too, Ashton." Nando is cracking up now.**

**"_Ashton_! Why did'nt you ever tell me?"**

**"Possums keep secrets."**

**"Yeah, well 'Gators' find them out."**

**"The first time we met, I thought you were a woman!"**

**"When I first met you, I thought you were 8."**

**"Go sit with the Gators." I sit down at the Possum's table.**

**"Where the hell were you?"**

**"Shut it, Baby-Cheese."**

**"Only Leanne can call me that!" Steve begins the announcements. **

**"HELLO CAMPERS, I would just like to clarify something before the staff make their announcements, we have a new camper joining us today, please welcome, MAY MAPLE!" A short brunette girl walks in front of the table where all the food is. Harley inhales sharply from the table behind us.**

**"Hi everyone, I play the Bassay! Or as you might call it, 'Bass'." Harley's eyes turn completely silver, he presses a button, and with a _BANG_, May's hair is full of bacon. I turn around to face a grinning Harley.**

**"How'd ya do that?"**

**"Easy, I've had springs under that table for 5 years, just in case someone came here who I hated." May storms to Harley's spot at the Tree Frog table.**

**"HARLEY, YOU DID THIS!"**

**"Who, me? Why would I do something so horrible to you, May? God, blame someone else for cryin' out loud." May turns puce, Lucian turns blue, May turns green, Lucian turns yellow, Conway goes into a lecture about chameleons. Lucian scratches him with his sharp nails.**

**"Ow!"**

**"Heh heh heh." Lucian cackles, this obviously makes Conway uncomfortable because he inches away.**

**"Get away, you freak." Lucian turns to me,**

**"Hey, Ash watch this, HEY DAWN, LOOK HERE!" Lucian holds up the box of Cheerios on our table. Dawn rushes over, a crazed look on her face.**

**"Are those..._Doughnut seeds_?"**

**"Real doughnut seeds."**

**"Really?"**

**"Would I lie to you?" Dawn smiles, and plunges her hand into the box. The first faculty member to say the announcement was the ballet teacher, Miss Artie Fellon Gautieri. She has a thick Southern accent.**

**"Hello, campers, I would just like to say that dance begins at 3:30 pm, please don't be late!" Then the strings director,**

**"Hello, campers, I'm Anya Callahan, violins ****and**** violas, please report to the Office Cabin at 9:30 am."**

**"Hey campers, I'm Frank Derikson, I teach guitar. All guitar players come to Guitar Town, which is at the bottom of the hill behind the Tuck Shop, at 9:00 am."**

**"I'm Samantha Bush and I teach vocals. All campers interested in taking vocal coaching please report to the Vocal Shack at 10:30 am."**

**"Hey, I'm Dan Silver, I'm the Orchestra director."**

**"I'm Ron Terry and I teach cello and bass. If you're interested, please come to the Torchic Shack at 10:20 am."**

**"I'm Steve Callahan, I'm teaching piano, all piano players please come to the piano shack at 2:00 pm."**

**"I'm Jerry Morasse, I teach all winds. All wind people, we will be playing in the Spoink Shack for the foreseeable future, so please go there at 3:00."**

**"And finally, I'm Vic Menzel, and if you play any kind of horn, please see me in the square at 4:00 pm." The square being a square formation of green benches between the Barn Hill and the Motels.(A long motel-ish line of cabins. The Barn Hill is a hill with a barn on top. We have our performances there. Steve stands up,**

**"And now, we will have an announcement from the nurse!"**

**"Hello, campers. I'm Carol Angakotri, I'm the camp nurse, I would just like to say that my office is in the camp kitchen against the wall with the door leading outside, from the outside, the door next to the water fountain."**

**"Thank you, Carol, now campers, I would just like to clarify one more thing, this won't happen today because of sign-ups, but every day at 4:00 we will be going to the beach in town, so bring your bathing suits. I'll stop bothering you now, so you can get to your breakfast."**

**Every table's heads go down into their bowls except ours. We just look at each other, Lucian asks,**

**"Ash? You gonna do it?"**

**"Oh no. Never."**

**"Leanne?"**

**"Not a chance, Baby-Cheese."**

**"Rita and Harry?"**

**"Nope." answer the 12 year old twins.**

**"Darrel?"**

**"Never."**

**"Sheena?"**

**"Keep dreaming."**

**"Brenda?"**

**"I'm lactose-intolerant."**

**"Kienan?"**

**"No way, Baby-Cheese."  
**

**"Joseph?"**

**"TOTALLY!" The six year old boy dunks his face into his cereal, Lucian leans back on his seat to avoid the flying Corn Flakes.**

**"Ick." says Leanne. **

**"I know." says Brenda.**

**"Wash your face." says Lucian.**

**The next day it rains a bit in the morning. Nando and Harley get into a heated dispute about who's guitar sounds better, Lucian and Brock compare keys. I practice my number. 'Single Ladies.' Apparently Lucian's girlfriend 'Ramira' wrote it and she got famous. And apparently Lucian has 2 CD's. His stage name escapes me. The bell rings at 4:00 for the beach. We all change quickly. On the bus, hail begins to clatter against the windows. The bus driver turns around sharply and drives back to the camp. Everyone runs for their cabins when we return. When me, Lucian, Brock, Nando and Harley are safe in the cabin, we notice our feet are getting soaked...from the crack under the door. Harley panics and hops onto his bed screeching. Lucian pinches him. Me and Brock and Nando pile towels at the crack to absorb the hail and rain. I get tired of this and slam the door open and run out the door to see a silver haired girl in a long white dress standing, arms spread, in the middle of the square, hair spilling down her arched back, I slowly approach her, her eyes are a metallic blue.**

**"You a camper here?"**

**"Yes...who are you?"**

**"Raine. Raine Ilusio. I work for Carol."**

**"What do you do?"**

**"I handle the kids who are really sick, who she can't get to because some other kid touched...goldenrod or whatever. My boyfriend works researching legendary Pokemon."**

**"Cool. What kind?"**

**"Like, Giratina, things like that. He's good at what he does."**

**"So, how many people see you here?"**

**"Only the ones who I have to look after. I'm referred to at this camp as a ghost, a vision, an angel. A lot of things. My job is hard. My Pokemon make it harder, but I love them." Raine opens 2 Poke-balls and a Gardevoir and a Milotic pop out.**

**"Wow."**

**"I guess you should go back to your cabin, Nando DeValdez will begin to worry."**

**"You know Nando?"**

**"I met him before. Bye."**

**"Bye." Raine walks with her Pokemon into the nurse's office, I go back to the cabin.**

**"Nando?"**

**"Yeah?"**

**"How do you know Raine?"**

**"Who told you about Raine!"**

**"I met her. In the square."**

**"Listen, Raine and I met last year, it was something really personal, and if you're so inclined to find it out, ask Raine." Nando opens the door and walks out onto the now sunny campus. I follow him.**

**"YOU SAID GATORS FIGURE OUT SECRETS, AND POSSUMS KEEP THEM!" Nando ignores me and keeps walking. I run to catch up to him, I finally reach him as he proceeds to the field. His face is completely white.**

**"Don't follow me!"**

**"Too bad."**

**"Ash, leave."**

**"No."**

**"Why not?"**

**"Because..." Nando stares at me blankly, not moving the tiniest bit.**

**"What's your problem?" I ask as he stares at me, his eyes glazed, he finally says,**

**"Ash...get Carol."**

**"What?"**

**"NOW!" I run to the nurse. I find her playing Old Maid with Raine and a heavily tattooed chef.**

**"What's wrong, Ash?"**

**"Nando told me to-" Raine stands up quickly, and runs out the door, so does Carol, dragging me with her,**

**"WHAT'S HAPPENING?"**

**"Nando's really sick."**

**"What? That's the big secret?"**

**"Yes. He doesn't tell anyone."**

**"He didn't tell-"**

**"Ash," Carol says, facing me and holding my shoulders, "He has cancer."**

**We reach Fallon and Nando. He's collapsed on Fallon's shoulder. Raine whips out a phone and dials 9-1-1.**

**"Hello? Yes, 16-year old male, leukemia, remission, Sunyshore Music Camp. Thanks." I slap Nando's face, to attempt to wake him up, he's dragged away by Carol and Raine.**

**The ambulance comes. I sit in it with Raine, Carol and Fallon. Fallon is completely flustered. Nando still hasn't woken up. I wait for him to regain consciousness for about an hour before he sits up in the hospital bed and tosses a box of Kleenex at my head.**

**"Hi."**

**"Hi."**

**"Did I collapse?"**

**"Yep."**

**"Damn."**

**"Was this the big secret."**

**"Obviously." **

**"I feel awful."**

**"Is Fallon here?"**

**"Yeah, she's downstairs, on the phone with Brock."**

**"Holy crap."**

**"Looks like Possums can figure out secrets."**

**"Ash, are you gonna turn this moment into a scene from a bad sitcom?"**

**"I guess so..."**

**"Well, don't." Nando's phone rings.**

**"What? Oh, Harley. Why are you calling? Don't you have a guitar lesson? Tell Sunflora to calm down- He did what? Yeah, whatever, bye." Nando stares at me, "What a fool." A nurse runs into the room.**

**"You boys alright in here?" Nando answers,**

**"Yes, we are. Now can I go back to camp, please? I'm performing tonight."**

**"Uh, I guess so..." The nurse is completely confused. "How do you feel?"**

**"I feel fine."**

**"Okay. I guess you can leave now." Nando stands up, and walks out of the room. I follow. We walk right past Fallon and Brock on the way out. Nando turns sharply around to face me,**

**"No-one...finds out about this...okay?"**

**"But-"**

**"NO-ONE."**

**"OKAY!"**

**"Thank you. Let's get out of here."**

**"Oh crap."**

**"What?"**

**"The Possums had to clean the bathrooms again today. And they're doing it right now."**

**"And how would this affect us?"**

**"Steve's gonna kill me."**

**Back at camp, Steve confronts us in our cabin.**

**"Where _were_ you?"**

**"In town-" Nando covers for me,**

**"I collapsed. We were in the city." Steve looks less mad now,**

**"Oh, alright, I'll go away now..." Steve walks away whistling 'Tiptoe Through The Tulips.' Lucian runs up to us, along with the rest of the Possums.**

**"WHY THE HELL WEREN'T YOU HERE TO CLEAN THE BATHROOM?" Nando glares at me,**

**"I-uh-vomited...and I stunk of previously enjoyed hot dog." Nando picks up on this,**

**"Yeah, barf everywhere, I almost drowned in it..." Lucian buys it, or at least pretends to.**

**"We explained it to Steve." All of a sudden, Lucian looks like he's high, with a look of highness on his face,**

**"I'm meeting Ramira tonight."**

**"She's in the same theory class as you."**

**"Noooooooooooo," Lucian winks at me, "You know..." He looks over his shoulder at Leanne, who has her hands on her hips.**

**"Lucian?" She asks in her innocent 6year old tone, "Are you and Ramira having a sleepover?" **

**"Almost, yeah, I guess we are..."**

**"NO BOYS IN THE GIRL'S CABIN! THAT'S THE RULE!"**

**"We aren't gonna be in her cabin... We'll be in the barn!"**

**"My Mommy told me not to lie. Are you lying, Baby-Cheese?" Lucian puts his hand on a tree branch, his eyes widen and he screams,**

**"EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" **

**"WHAT? WHAT IS IT?" Lucian lifts his hand, sticking to it is a long string of goo.

* * *

**

**"Bird crap?"**

**"It's orange."**

**"Vomit?" asks Lucian as he scrubs his hand.**

**"It's not that sticky."**

**"What if you ate glue..."**

**"Out of all the Elite Four, aren't you s'posed to be the smart one?"**

**"I _am_ the smart one."**

**"They must be total idiots then..."**

**"Ash Ketchum, if you insult my family ONE MORE TIME, I will rub your face in the weird sludge on the tree."**

**"Have fun tonight, with Ramira, at your _sleepover_."**

**"WE'RE GONNA WEAR CLOTHES!" I imitate Leanne,**

**"Baby-Cheese, my Mommy told me not to lie, are you lying?" *Bats eyes***

**"Okay, maybe just underwear, but STILL!"**

**"I can't even believe you touched that goo on the tree and then you decided to be dirty with Ramira Thomas! The most conservative-" An 8year old walks into the bathroom,**

**"Dirty, like...rolling in mud...you know, you're gonna roll in the mud with Ramira, right?"**

**"Oh, definitely, yeah, mud...brown, wet, mud..." The kid butts in,**

**"Are you gonna make a baby with a girl? Because if I was a girl, I would tell you the nerd store called, and they want you back you perverted crazy." Lucian raises an eyebrow,**

**"Does your mom know you talk like that?"**

**"No. But she got me this," He digs in his pocket and pulls out a box of Tic Tacs. Orange flavor.**

**"I'm Michael Woods. Son of Kathy and Steve Woods. Brother of Kimberly Woods, and cousin of Katie and Matthew Woods!"**

**"I'm Lucian Mitchell, son of David and Nora-Anne Mitchell, brother of Lorianne and Lucinda Mitchell, and cousin of Aaron, Jason, Petra and Cheyenne Mitchell and Harriet, Mary, Daniel and Marcia Menkov."**

**"You're really weird."**

**"That isn't nice, kid, I might tell Steve if you talk like that again."**

**"What're you, my mother?"**

**"Well, no, I'm a camper, but just to tell you, girls aren't attracted to jerks."**

**"Yes, they are."**

**"No, actually, they're not, just a word of advice."**

**"Actually, it was 4."**

**"Yeah, sure, 4."**

**"Okay, we're on the same page. Bye!" Michael runs out of the bathroom.**

**"Cute kid." I say.**

**"Exactly, now what was that goo? I asked you 50 times already!"**

**"I bet it's some kind of concoction Dawn made."**

**"What, food for doughnut plants?" We both crack up.**

**"Probably not, Dawn's stupid, but not stupid enough to trust herself with something that's not edible."**

**"Really? How does she wear clothes...?"**

**"I think her clothes are made of meat."**

**"Like Levy's meat dress?"**

**"Exactly. Now what was the goo?"**

**"I really have no idea."**

**End Of Chapter One.  
**


	2. No boys in girl's cabinsTHATS THE RULE!

**High School Without The Musical.**

**Fallon Grace-Takahashi. July 20**

**My cabin-mates are rowdy today...Josefina and Levy are in my cabin. I want to see Ash. Don't get me wrong, I love Nando, as a boyfriend but also like a brother, but Ash is really growing on me, so is that Brock kid...anyway, teenage boys are sick, like, completely sick, all they like is girls, sports, unhealthy food and perverse ideas get stuck in their heads all the time. Girls are better, but only slightly, that's why I want to be 16, then 17, then 18, breeze through 19 and become 20 as quick as possible. Anyway, my roommates have bolted from the cabin and are now chasing each other across the campus, almost murdering Roark Stone as they barrel across the square. I pull a Cream Soda out of the pack we keep in my suitcase and pop it open,**

**"Crap!" I scream as the pink liquid fizzes onto my top and soaks through. I guess it was a good day to wear pink. I hop outside and watch as Carol The Nurse restrains my roommates with the help of Natalia McGrady and Ramira Thomas. I feel fishnet gloves on my arms and hear a whisper,**

**"Hey babe." I jump and spin around to see Nando with a smug look on his face,**

**"Why the hell- TOO CLOSE! YOU'RE TOO CLOSE TO MY GIRL CABIN! OOOOOOOOH!" I point at Nando and everyone stares, snickers, and starts whipping toast at us.**

**"It's a good thing I love you!"**

**"Good for you..." The toast toss slows down and the boisterous bell rings for orchestra and other ensembles. I grab my guitar and head down to Guitar Town.**

**Frank is schooling us. Our assignment for the week is pick any song, play it with a vocal accompaniment. I chose Josefina's new song 'Party at a Rich Dude's House.' I'll do my own vocals. Nando is making sexy faces at me from across the room and I'm pretending I don't see them, eventually Frank yells at him. I don't think he was _making _the faces, though. He is always sexy. Ash plays guitar too so he's getting POd at Nando and that Maple girl keeps trying to blow Harley up, I know this because he's sitting right next to me and he has a bullet-proof vest on. For a stupid person, May's smart. **

**When guitar is over I go to vocal class, Samantha kicks off the lesson by asking if I brought a Broadway, Disney or Classical song on sheet music. I chose 'The Legend of Miss Baltimore Crabs.' In the middle of the class, Samantha asks,**

**"Fallon?"**

**"Yes?"**

**"How did you get into ballet here?"**

**"I don't really know, to be honest."**

**"Oh, okay." She goes back to the song.**

**I go back to my cabin and find Josefina and Roark lying on my bed, making out. Josefina spazzes, **

**"THERE'S THIS REALLY GREAT THING, AND IT'S CALLED KNOCKING!"**

**"I'll knock if you two get a freakin' room."**

**"Well, sorry, Roark's cabin was occupied!" Roark waves.**

**"You're disgusting."**

**"Oh, and you're better?"**

**"YES I AM!"**

**"Well, you do have a point..."**

**"OUT, NOW."**

**"Fine, come, Roark." Roark follows her out of the cabin. I shudder, just then Levy and Conway smash their way in the door, giggling, then spot me,**

**"Oops, sorry!"**

**"Out!"**

**"Fine..."**

**"BTW, Josefina and Roark are in his cabin." I point to Conway. They leave. The bell rings for Tuck Shop, all th guys at the camp trample each other to get to the tiny shed where we have Tuck Shop. I'm on cashier duty. I begin to explain accounts, but Lucian interrupts,**

**"STOP TALKING!"**

**"What?"**

**"STOP TALKING!"**

**"Lucian, I ask you nicely, TAKE A RITALIN!" **

**"DO IT! But keep your mouth open..."**

**"Wha- fine..." Lucian cuts through the line and slaps my tongue.**

**"What was _that_?"**

**"There was an ant in your mouth."**

**"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGH!" I pass out.**

**...**

**I wake to see Lucian in a black, skintight leather bodysuit with heavy black eye makeup and contact lenses that make his eyes look horrible.**

**"WAKE UP NOW! IMMA 'BOUT T' PERFORM!"**

**"What're you supposed to look like?"**

**"A man-slut, like it?"**

**"No." I sit up."**

**"You look ugly..."**

**"That's what I just told you."**

**"Nope, you said No."**

**"Lucian, I bet your precious Elite Four friends never told you this, but You're stupid."**

**"Am not..."**

**"Don't lie, Luciana."**

**"Imma genius!"**

**"How?"**

**"I'm smart."**

**"Is that outfit a smart idea? No."**

**"Aw, Fallon, just 'cuz you gotta bug in yer mouth-"**

**"Be quiet." I stand up and leave the kitchen, where I am lying on a table surrounded by psychic Pokemon. The work of Lucian David Mitchell. Outside I find everyone running around in a panic, in the middle of the mayhem is a throng of Pokemon, Espeon, Sunflora, Sudowoodo, Pikachu and Geodude, I shout to Lucian,**

**"YOUR ESPEON'S OUT HERE!"**

**"ONE SECOND, I'm busy." I glance at Lucian, he's poking his stiletto heel with a sewing needle. I run out into the crowd and pick up all the Pokemon and run with them to my cabin, my Meowth pops out of it's ball and runs with us. I adopted it from some 'Team Rocket' losers.**

**"Fallon, whatcha doin'?"**

**"Stuff." I drop the Pokemon in my cabin and exit, leaving Meowth to entertain them. I find Gary Oak standing like sentry outside the door.**

**"Fallon."**

**"What now?"**

**"Come." He grabs my hand and drags me to Nando and Ash's cabin, where Nando is whipping a tennis ball at the underside of Ash's bed and watching him jump as he lies there eating a yellowing carrot, Lucian is drawing an Andy Warhol picture of corn, Brock is watching 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show' on a portable DVD player, and Harley is adding to the camp tradition of writing a blob of graffiti on the wall next to his bed, caressing his abs as he does so. Brock pauses the movie and Magenta freezes in mid-Touchtouchatoucha touch me, Lucian drops his pen and lies on the ground, twitching, Nando and Brock continue their epic battle of the tennis ball. Harley's mouth slowly slides open...**

**"GIRL! GIRL! GIRL! GI-" Nando cuts him off by throwing the tennis ball at his head. **

**"Shut UP."**

**"Someone got up the wrong side of the-"**

**"DON'T...SAY...BED!" DING DING DING. **

**"DINNER, CAMPERS!" Oh god, we all walk down to the Lodge, where the faculty are serving Big Macs. Lucian takes one look and turns green,**

**"Yuck, how disgusting! I'll blow up like a freaking balloon!" **

**"You're a stick." The cook growls, "Eat the dadgum Big Mac or Imma slap the living skinniness outta ya." Lucian backs away. I find a table and the disgusting gang of men walk away to another one, I sit next to Josefina,**

**"Hey," **

**"Hi."**

**"You think I'll get fat by eating this?"**

**"Without a doubt, even Lucian might gain a bit of- no that could never happen."**

**"That guy has no meat, I swear, if we meet cannibals and he's there, the cannibals would use him as a toothpick and eat the rest of us."**

**"Wouldn't that be an advantage?"**

**"Oh, no. He might also end up as an appetizer, or a crumb or a-" Ramira Thomas shouts at us,**

**"That's my boyfriend." She's strong, hot, or what I might think a guy would consider hot...but still amazingly strong.**

**"sorry..." I manage. We go back to picking at our food.**

**That night, as I'm walking to the washroom, I hear sounds of exertion coming from Ramira's cabin,**

**"OH! LUCIAN! OUCH! OOH!" I go investigate. Only to find Lucian and Ramira snuggling violently in Ramira's bunk, I feel tempted to get Steve. Lucian sits bolt upright in bed,**

**"WHY ARE YOU HERE?"**

**"Why are _you_ here? Put some pants on!"**

**"I did'nt bring any!"**

**"You're gross, Ramira, save me!"**

**"Okay, LEAVE." **

**The next thing that happened was a thing of Family Life class where every now and then a guy would turn minty-colored and rush out of the room. I'm not going to say it. All I can do is drag myself back to my cabin to barf.  
**


	3. PLain Waffles

**High School Without The Musical chapter 3.**

**Ramira's POV.**

**I never thought camp would be as violent as my stupid little brother, Kenneth, described. I started my Friday by being randomly punched in the eye by a force like a metal pole. I feel blood rush to my eye, girls crowding around me,**

**"Ramira?" screeches Fallon, she gets that looked on her face that she does when someone is bleeding out on cement,**

**"Ew, her eyes have blood in them..." says a vacant-looking Dawn, crap! Mrs Woods runs up to me and waves a hand in my face before I can pass out, then I actually do pass out.

* * *

**

**"Wake up, Ramira, now." Josefina's voice hollers in my ear, a gentler voice suggests,**

**"Want me to go get Lucian?"**

**"You fool, Lucian would make a noisy scene and probably try to stuff a beer bottle into a paper shredder! He might also try to eat a cabin and drown himself in the lake." I sit up,**

**"Wanna make something of it?" Levy backs away a step,**

**"No, I was just-"**

**"Where am I?"**

**"Oh, the infirmary, some chick who looks like a ghost in heels brought you in here. She saved Roark's life last year!" Josefina stares into the middle distance in a delirious way, I can picture little hearts bouncing around her head if we were all cartoon characters.**

**"Roark, can get hurt in a sea of bubble wrap."**

**"So he's accident prone! Aren't we all?"**

**"Actually, no, not really, Roark trips over flat surfaces."**

**"I've never seen him trip."**

**"Exaggeration." **

**"Oh."**

**"Wait, who the hell hit me?"**

**"Oh, Cynthia. She wants Lucian, too, can't see why..."**

**"JOSEFINA, FOCUS PLEASE!"**

**"Oops."**

**"Where, is Mrs Woods?"**

**"Oh, in town, getting that wax stuff for the ballet class. Fallon's pointe shoes were slipping everywhere." I stand up and examine the bump on my head, it's purple and green.**

**After I get hauled back to my cabin against my will, Levy and I are confined to playing 'Rock Paper Scissors' in front of the cabin sitting on blankets printed with corn that I brought.**

**"I win." says Levy for the seventh time in a row, "Let's play something else."**

**"Like what?"**

**"I Spy?"**

**"Sure, I spy, with my little eye, someone who is very perverted."**

**"Lucian."**

**"NO! Nando."**

**"You just told me."**

**"This is too hard, we all have different points of view on each other, let's play Black Shoe."**

**"Black Shoe? That's how you decide who's it for tag."**

**"It's a time-killer."**

**"Fine." She sticks her foot next to mine,**

**"Black Shoe Black Shoe, change your Black Shoe." I switch my feet, "Black Shoe Black Shoe change your Black Shoe." and on and on and on and on and on and on. I finally get the nerve to walk boldly to Lucian's cabin and just barge in, Nando and Harley are arguing about who would win in 'Hypothetical Star Wars Kickboxing.' The kind of talk you absolutely adore until you discover girls. I walk in right as Nando is screaming crap about how Princess Leia would hire a robot to box for her, so she'd lose, and Harley is dead-set on Darth Vader driving the Death Star into the opponent. Lucian, Brock and Ash are slowly inching away from the heat of battle murmuring the words 'Chewbacca all the way' into the dueler's ears. I cough a loud hack in Nando's face and he screeches even louder,**

**"OMIGOD!" He purposely hops onto Harley's head, who flips backwards onto Ash's bed. They lie there and begin cracking up. All that makes them stop is when I tell them about the Costume Party the camp is having this year, they dish about their costumes.**

**"Amoeba." says Harley**

**"Lime." says Ash**

**"Pear." says Brock**

**"Corn." says Nando**

**"Mercedes Jones." says Lucian, staring into space. The character I play on the show 'Glee.' She's a total diva who always competes with the female lead character for solos. Suddenly, Fallon bursts into the cabin,**

**"I'm singing a duet tonight!" Nando smiles in that disgusting way he always does, **

**"With me." Lucian rebukes him in the cute way he always does,**

**"Who cares?"**

**"The whole camp."**

**"Maybe the whole camp minus me."**

**"Don't try to impress me with complicated math, Grape."**

**"It's not complicated, it just means you can't sing." This makes Fallon go out of her mind.**

**"YOU STUPID JERK!"

* * *

**

**That night, all I can think about is Reggie Black. Paul's brother. He's in love with me. So is Wallace VanEau. And , let's not forget, since 7th grade, Lucian Mitchell. Guys are stupid, all they want is you, nothing else. But they want you in a bad way...like...I don't know a comparison... All of a sudden I hear bickering outside my cabin, there, Harley and Brock are standing, completely soaked, screeching swear words at the sky,**

**"Harley, I always knew you were weird, but this is groundbreaking."**

**"Y'know Nando?"**

**"Sadly."**

**"He poured a tub of water over our heads!"**

**"What were you doing?"**

**"Seeing how late we could stay awake. Nando came up with the stupidest idea- Use freezing water to stay awake! Now him and Ash and Lucian are having a ball in there and we, are out here freezing with bears!"**

**"Then come inside!" They step forward and I motion to the cabin of Mandi Moran, Wallace, Reggie and Gary Oak. "In there."**

**Eventually, they get let in and Levy yells at me for waking her. I spray her with bug spray. **

***SLEEPYTIME.***

**The next morning at breakfast, Lucian asks me,**

**"Were Harley and Brock in your cabin last night?"**

**"Nope. Gary's. How much did you not miss them?"**

**"Oh God. We were almost passed out with- oh crap." I look around to see Cynthia Johnson pacing dangerously across the lodge to where I'm sitting, only to grab Lucian by the face and latch mouths. Lucian screams and shoves her onto me, I duck and she falls on Barry McCall, who passes out. I slam my face into my waffle.**

**"Shizz." Nando whips a blob of syrup at me and Fallon slaps him, he turns his head. I stare down at the droplet of thick, brown liquid jiggling next to my plate. How gross. Syrup is the whole reason I eat plain waffles.  
**


	4. High on thistles

**High School Without The Musical chapter 4.**

**Nando's wretched POV.**

**Friday of Week One, Me, Ash and Lucian have to supervise Junior Rec. With Steve keeping us under close surveillance. Lucian kicks off Junior Rec by just saying,**

**"I can't believe we've gotta lie on the ground with the f-" Steve shoots him a look that says 'If-you-swear-in-front-of-my-son-I'll-whoop-your-a*&.'**

**"How atrocious!" Roark screams from across the field. Everyone knows somethings wrong when Roark says 'atrocious.' **

**"How atrocious! How atrocious! How...atrocious? Ah, I QUIT!" Roark keels over sideways into the sharp grass that has horns that can draw blood if you rub them hard enough. Josefina flips over, too, and all we can see of them is grass and drops of blood flying everywhere.**

**"ATROCIOUS! OMIGOD! THE WORLD IS ATROCIOUS! MY GLASSES ARE DARN ATROCIOUS! I WANT TO SQUISH MY ATROCIOUS FATHER UNDER AN ATROCIOUS BOULDER WITH THE HELP OF MY ATROCIOUS ONIX! NANDO, YOU'RE ATROCIOUSLY ATROCIOUS! SO ARE YOU, ATROCIOUS LUCIAN! ASH IS LESS ATROCIOUS BECAUSE HE'S NOT ATROCIOUS LIKE YOU ATROCIOUS PEOPLE, ALL OF YOU ARE F- ATROCIOUS!"**

**"What a spazz." **

**"ATROCIOUS ATROCIOUS ATROCIOUS!" Roark hollers at a passing Spearow, then turns to us, "THAT BIRD IS ATROCIOUS LIKE ATROCIOUSNESS OF ATROCITY THAT'S ATROCIOUS! SO AM I! I'M ATROCIOUS, AND SO IS EVERYONE BECAUSE THE WORLD OF ATROCIOUS PEOPLE, IS ATROCIOUS!" **

**"Oh Lord, d'ya think he's okay?"**

**"Go get Carol."**

**"This is serious, we need Raine." **

**"She scares me."**

**"Leanne, go save the Stone kid."**

**"STONE KID?" Leanne yells, "HELP IS ON THE WAY! JUST DON'T SAY-"**

**"ATROCIOUS!"**

**"That..." Roark crawls toward us, a vicious grin smeared across his face, hissing 'atrocious' as he goes. Ash steps in front of us,**

**"Everybody hold on." He puts a toe on Roark's forehead and pushes him back, Roark, on the other hand, tips over and lies twitching in the grass. Eventually we have to move Junior Rec across campus. Even from the driveway, we can still hear Roark screaming 'atrocious' and various other words. Carol and Raine finally have to go down there with a lasso due to complaints. So finally we have to give up the idea of Junior Rec for that day because it's pretty much impossible to toe-weave while Animal Control is trying to tranquilize a rowdy 16year old. Turns out, Roark accidentally ate a thistle. Which made him high. That's something I can tell my sister about. Maria thinks she has the right to know absolutely everything that's going on in my life, surprisingly, she cares more about my life than her's. May walks over to us, Harley materializes out of nowhere and says,**

**"Whatcha want, Marksman?"**

**"MY LAST NAME IS MAPLE! FOR CHRISSAKE! GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD!"**

**"Sorry. I like calling you by a different last name, uh... McDonald."**

**"WILL YOU STOP, PLEASE?"**

**"Calm down, Tent."**

**"AND DON'T CALL ME 'TENT' ANYMORE!"**

**"Tent."**

**"AGH!" **

**"Tenty Tent Tent." **

**"STOPPIT!" **

**"Tent Tent Tent Tenty Tent Tent Tent."**

**"HARLEY DAVIDSON, THIS IS THE LAST STRAW!" May runs directly at Harley and misses, careening into a burr bush. She comes out with burrs stuck in her about every 5 inches. We giggle discreetly,**

**"IMMA KILL YOU!"**

**"OOH! Can I watch?"**

**"SHUT UP LEANNE!" **

**"I'M TELLIN' MY MOTHER! SHE'LL KILL YOU!"

* * *

**

**A few hours later we have Theory. I'm in the same class as Lucian, Josefina, Fallon and Gary, the rest of the people in our group are 13 and under. While we're trying to unravel the mystery that is Bass Clef, Lucian lets out a blood-curdling scream from across the room, so does our annoying friend Leanne, who keels sideways off her chair and lies writhing like a snake on the ground, Lucian shuts up and stares at her,**

**"If you don't stop that right now, I'll hurt you." Leanne starts chuckling and then cackling,**

**"TEEPEE! GET IT? TOILET PAPER! HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH! HANUKKAH? GET IT? MENORAAAAAAH! MENORAH! WAH HA HA HA HEH !" A ball of thistles falls out of her pocket. Lucian stares for a bit then says,**

**"I guess 'Baby-Cheese' was just transferred to another camp..."  
**


	5. Lucian's brief encounter

**High School Without The Musical chapter 5.**

**WARNING-CYNTHIA ABUSES LUCIAN IN THE WORST WAY...but not emotionally...  
**

**Lucian's POV.**

**So me and Harley and Ash are sitting in the cabin whipping a tennis ball at the wall and attempting to actually catch it when two freaks in white polyester pop into the cabin, one is a dirty looking chick with magenta hair that protrudes from her head like an extra arm and the other one is a guy with blue hair and an abnormally small nose,**

**"PREPARE FOR TROUBLE, HAPPY CAMPERS!"**

**"MAKE IT DOUBLE, KUMBAYA!" Ash screams,**

**"TEAM ROCKET? YOU FOLLOWED ME TO CAMP?"**

**"You betcha, twerp-of-nature." croons the guy, "Where's Brock-twerp and Bard-twerp?"**

**"You mean _EX_-Bard-twerp."**

**"WHAT? BARD-TWERP ISN'T BARD-TWERP ANYMORE? HE'S BEEN CONVERTED? YAY BARD-TWERP! And who are _these _little twerps?" The guy catches a sight of Fallon out the door and says,**

**"Ooh, hot twerp..."**

**"You find Nando attractive, James?"**

**"What? Of course not! I meant that that girl...that lovely, lovely, Japanese girl with the Vaporeon and the pink shoes...and the blue shorts and the white nails and the voice like...*That*" 'James' does a terrible imitation of Fallon singing 'Tonight' from 'West Side Story' and the girl shudders, **

**"The hot Japanese girl needs a few singing lessons..."**

**"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, JESSIE? SHE HAS AN AMAZING VOICE! I DON'T DO A VERY GOOD IMITATION, IS ALL!" I lean closer to Ash,**

**"Get...these...things...out...of...my...cabin!"

* * *

**

**That night, Cynthia, my mentally-screwed coworker comes into my bed and asks,**

**"Lucian, baby, what's your relationship status on Facebook? My parents caught me sending you sext messages so they shut my account down."**

**"I got them." I shove her out of the bed and she falls hard on Brock's face, who snores louder and pushes her onto the ground,**

**"Did you like them?"**

**"No. And my relationships status is 'In A Relationship.'"**

**"Too bad." **

**"Oh damn..."  
**

**After a few hours of screaming, kicking and stripping, Cynthia goes away, and I think I learned a valuable lesson today, NEVER tell a girl you like her Garchomp.  
**


	6. La Senorita Camera

**High School Without The Musical chapter 7/6.**

**Harley's POV. (Midnight Game-Duty.) Harley italicizes his words for screaming.  
**

**Pass The Handbag.**

**At Midnight on Fridays at camp, we always have Late-Night Fun Hour, right now, we're playing 'Pass The Handbag.' Leanne won't take her hands off Lucian. She claims to be 'just pinching him'. It's a lie. When she has to pass the 'HANDBAG' to me, she always whips it into the air, so it's impossible for anyone on her right side to get it. When we move on to 'Broken Telephone', Leanne always changes it to 'Baby-Cheese'. Eventually, we had to let her start. She said 'Baby-Cheese.' Wow..._SHOCKER..._ If she doesn't cool down soon, things will go bad and she'll catch Lucian with that Ramira girl who he sneaks around with...Their relationship and commitment is composed out of love, lips, sleeping and leaving their clothes at each other's houses. This girl is 6 years old and I'm starting to think Levy wrote her song 'Paparazzi' for Leanne... a crazed fangirl, some guy who nobody cares about... I think his name could be Alejandro, I pay ZERO attention at concerts... speaking of Alejandro, Nando has strategically parked himself next to Fallon, and brought cologne. That reeks of a mix of wood and burning rubber, which, from the looks of it, Fallon adores to no end...**

**"Baby-Cheese." whines Ash from across the circle, "For the eighth time..." This is beyond too much for Lucian, who _leaves,_ goes across the circle and lies in the middle of it until the whole thing blows over, presumably. We move on to the dang Name-Game. Which we give up on, because Nando and Lucian kept coming up with provocative names for people (and themselves), like 'Shirtless Shirley' and 'Bad Brenda' or even 'Filthy Freddie.'" Another random freak, 'Will', (a lot like Lucian) keeps trying to touch Ramira's butt, she keeps inching away, until she's practically sitting on Brenda Campbell (6), who inches away onto Joseph Hale (also 6) so Will moves closer and Joseph and Brenda give up and go where Lucian is (who by now looks like he's about to explode because his girlfriend is being stolen by an even _weirder_ TV psychic.)**

**"Itty Bitty Baby-Cheese, Cheesy Bitty Itty Baby...I wuuuuuuuuuuv you..." hums Leanne from next to me.**

**"Shut up, please..."**

**"NO!"**

**"Leanne, dear, I'm bigger than you, and stronger, I also get mad easily, so let's not do anything that might put either of us in immediate danger, okay?"**

**"Okey-Dokey, Smelly-Cheese."**

**"WHAT?"**

**"You smell like cheese, so let's not lie about each other."**

**"And Lucian's a baby?"**

**"NO. You idiot, he's _pale_ like a little baby and cheese, plus he's..." Her little eyes widen... "He's _my_ Baby!"**

**"Just be quiet Annoying-Cheese."**

**"_THAT_ crack didn't even make any sense!"**

**"Neither do you." Leanne pinches my face and I screech at her, which may have left her scarred for life, because I can screech like a terrified Screech Owl.**

**When Late-Night Fun Hour finally ends, Lucian hides in the Tuck Shop until Leanne is completely asleep, and he brings back a bunch of candy and puts it in my pillow case, so I wake up with chocolate soaking through the fabric of my pillow and onto my face. To the day we have to leave camp. Me and my..._lovely_ roommates are all going to Nando's house in Eterna City. But Steve won't hand over his car keys until we sort out Brenda Campbell and Leanne's luggage. Lucian is armed with a can of Coke. Their little friends Sheena and Shirley are staying together in Snowpoint City with Shirley's parents. Apparently, Nando's family has a big house for 6 people. My 3 sisters are all at home with my single mother, Lucian's family have guests for the 2 weeks and his room is infested with guests, Ash's mom has her new boyfriend over and Brock's parents have to watch all his crazed siblings. So let's just hope Nando's family is nice.**

**Well, we know they're nice because when we got to Nando's house, there was a woman with puffy black hair sitting on the kitchen table texting. She looked about 20. **

**"Nando, I thought your sister was always in her room." Brock moans, whispering 'Fallon' between every word.  
**

**"That's my mother..." The woman stands up and fluffs her hair,**

**"Hey, I'm Alejandra DeValdez, I run this house, except when Ricardo's home then it's a combined effort. You can give your instruments to Nando, he'll take 'em to his room upstairs."**

**"They can manage." says Nando.**

**"They can manage being guests."**

**"Fine. Gimme the keytar." Nando creeps away, carrying all our camp stuff, and Brock starts to shiver, then swoops his hand up into Alejandra's face,**

**"I'M BROCK MARTINEZ, IT'S LOVELY TO MEET YOU, MA'AM."**

**"Ooh, a Latino..." Brock giggles and leans next to Ash,**

**"Whassa Latino, again?" Ash pinches his ear and he falls to the ground, Alejandra spazzes,**

**"Oh, Good God, is he okay?" **

**"He's okay, just lovesick." answers Lucian. Nando comes downstairs holding a box,**

**"Mom, I've waited too long, We're gonna watch it tonight." He holds up the box, which wobbles violently. "I filmed it, I get to watch it." Ash looks at the box then asks,**

**"Watch what?"**

**"Oh, Nando, Lucian and Harley filmed their own version of the movie 'A Christmas Story' a few weeks ago, and they haven't watched it yet." Oh crap, that movie. I got stuck playing the little brother, the teacher and the department store Santa. But I _did_ like the part where Lucian's character stuck his tongue to the pole. We all flood downstairs and turn it on. But instead of the opening credits or menu we see a little girl's nose, and then the camera zooms out to show a girl of about 4 in an elaborate outfit and with lipstick on her eyelids.**

**"Hi...this is Teresa...I'm using my brother's camera...he was makin' a movie, but I had to delete that so I could shoot a music video. I hope he doesn't catch me. Nando got this camera for his birthday. He thinks since he's 16 he's, like, better than me now, but he's not. He smells like cologne. I think that's when you make somebody a twin. And he's gonna tell my mommy, and I might get a time-out." Nando is completely white by now, so is Lucian, and for someone as pale as him that's saying something. **

**"That kid's gonna die..."**

**"Nando, be nice to her, she's just a little girl..."**

**"Ash, I can't make that promise... I'm about to tell Teresa's mommy. MOM!"**

**"SON! What the heck do you want?"**

**"TERESA HACKED MY CAMERA!"**

**"What?"**

**"Look." Alejandra walks over, purposefully sticking her butt in Brock's face.**

**"Oh, she's in trouble now...TERESA!" the little girl from the video comes thumping down the basement stairs,**

**"Yes, Mommy-dear?"**

**"Explain yourself."**

**"Err, Um...Uh..."**

**"TIME-OUT."**

**"Fine..." Teresa slithers back upstairs.**

**"Sorry about that. She doesn't really get the whole personal property thing- Nando, don't delete the video!"**

**"It's my camera." He goes back to pressing random buttons.**

**"But she worked hard on it!"**

**"I worked harder. So did Lucian and Harley." Thank you.**

**"I guess you're right, but how are you gonna explain it to your sister?"**

**"Let her watch it."**

**"I didn't raise you to be-"**

**"Like Teresa?"**

**"Dinner in 2 hours. I'm sorry you had to see that, boys." Alejandra goes back upstairs and Lucian starts changing colors. **

**"Before you turn blue," says Nando, "Let's go get revenge..." Never trust someone with a lip piercing to get revenge on his 5year old sister.**

* * *

**Teresa's room reeks of sugar and fabric softener. _Ew._ Nando starts going through her acorn collection, cackling like a child putting a plastic bug in his parent's bed. He pulls out a giant acorn,**

**"This is perfect...I'm putting it in her bed." He gets a few leaves from her leaf collection and puts them with the acorn. Also a few rubber bugs. "She's gonna love it..." My phone rings,**

**"Hello?"**

**"Harley? That sounds like you, is that you?"**

**"Who the hell is this?"**

**"what's my name again...Oh yeah, Dawn!"**

**"Why are you calling me?"**

**"I don't remember."**

**"What?"**

**"I said, I DON'T FRIGGIN' REMEMBER! Oh, wait...oh yeah, Ash is at your house, right?"**

**"Nando's house."**

**"Aren't you the same person?"**

**"NO!"**

**"Oh...Well, I wanna talk to Ash. I wanna hold him...and love him...and-"**

**"Dawn, shut up."**

**"Thank you, oh, wait..."**

**"Just...wait until Monday!"**

**"I can't! I have to pee!"**

**"Don't call here ever again." I hang up.**


	7. Yes No Idiot

**High School Without The Musical chapter 7.**

**Harley's POV. Again.**

**At about 10 at night, we turn on Grey's Anatomy and Lucian gets out his Mac.**

**"Brain tumors aren't all they're cracked up to be." He says,**

**"You have one...?" He moves closer to the computer,**

**"Let's change the subject..."**

**"What're you doing on there anyway?"**

**"I'm on Ebay."**

**"Buying what?"**

**"Defibrillator."**

**"Why?"**

**"It's cheap." Nando butts in,**

**"They're good for spreading peanut butter."**

**"And how would you know that?"**

**"I tried it." Lucian starts in again,**

**"Did you know, I'm half-Romanian?"**

**"You told me that when we were eight."**

**"Really?"**

**"Yeah. You said your family was from Transylvania."**

**"I know someone there!"**

**"Who?"**

**"My cousin Janice." Nando starts screaming,**

**"OMIGOD! WHEN I WAS LITTLE, I HAD A PET ROCK THAT I CALLED 'DOC FRANK' AND IT WAS A ROCK WRAPPED IN FISHNET MATERIAL! I'LL GO GET IT!" He runs upstairs and starts rifling through the kitchen, He runs back down holding a rock encased in a roll of netting. Lucian says,**

**"Do you still have Big Wilma?"**

**"Y'mean the walrus? I gave her to Teresa."**

**"I still have Blackie."**

**"Your velvet pillow?"**

**"Yep."**

**"Isn't your bed,like, plexiglass?"**

**"Let's not go there." Ash goes,**

**"What, you need to be quarantined? You have contagious problems? Remedial protection?"**

**"You fool, it looks nice. Like an igoo-ish thingy." **

**"Smart Elite 4 person says thingy, I can see the headlines now..."**

**"At least I know what avarice is."**

**"Being a genius-freak-nerd person isn't my job."**

**"Watchyer mouth, Soot."**

**"DON'T CALL ME SOOT!"**

**"Fine...Coal."**

**"NWAAAAGH!" Ash scuttles around the floor like a freaked-out cat, vibrating. Lucian starts changing colours faster than a chameleon sitting on a video game screen, then slows down to a light dimmer.**

**"Why the hell do you change colours?" My phone rings, and Dawn screams out 'BABY-CHEESE ALIEN!' Obviously completely smashed. Lucian takes out his phone and calls Dawn,**

**"Pick up, you little- HI DAWN! What? No, unicorns are not real... You didn't see one, It's the letter after K, No, you're stupid... Bees can't do that, how many beers did you have last night? EW! GET SOME HELP, YOU SICK, PERVERTED- No, Jesus never rode on a dinosaur... or an egg...YEAH, WELL YOU SUCK THEM! I DON'T CARE! YES, NO, IDIOT!" **


	8. The girl you dream about!

**High School Without The Musical chapter 8.**

**Ash's POV.**

**I wake up the next morning to the sound of a spoon hitting plastic, and sit up to see Harley eating ice cream right out of the carton, pink, green and brown stuff smeared across his face.**

**"Is that ice cream?"**

**He giggles, "It was!"**

**"Did you mix a bunch together?"**

**"I don't know, it's my sister's. I stole it. Hee hee hee..." He smiles, his teeth are covered in ice cream. "Vaseline?"**

**"What?"**

**"I said Vaseline. Wake Brock up, Alejandra's coming." I poke Brock, he rolls over and slaps his arm onto the ground,**

**"Oh, Fallon, I love you too..."**

**"You freak..." Harley rips a pack of bubblegum out of his pocket and stuffs a few pieces into his mouth,**

**"Yum..." A scream sounds from upstairs and Teresa comes speeding down the stairs into the basement,**

**"I WAS SLEEPING ON A FOREST! WAKE UP NANDO!" Nando jerks bolt-upright from the couch that he had shoved Lucian off of late at night,**

**"Maria did it...Oh, Fallon, you hot little pervert-DAMN! TERESA?"**

**"You dirty piece of poo! You put a forest in my bed!"**

**"Oh, right. And _he's_ Lily Allen." Nando points at Lucian, who is subconsciously licking his glasses. Teresa runs over to the couch, screeching, she jumps onto the couch, (using Brock's face as a launching pad,) narrowly misses her brother's head and attempts a fistfight. Then Lucian wakes up and screams,**

**"SASKATCHEWAN! ALUMINUM!" Brock sees this as his cue to wake up as well and scream,**

**"SHE'S MINE! FALLON IS MINE! DIRTY SPICK- Hi, Nando..." Nando must have spent too much time with Lucian between classes because he starts changing colours,**

**"Wanna die?"**

**"It's happening..." Nando runs at Brock, (who is still half-asleep) and starts slapping him in pretty much every accessible place...**

**"I'LL TEACH YOU TO- LITTLE- PIECE OF-I'M GONNA BREAK YOUR-" And so on... Alejandra comes sashaying down the stairs,**

**...**

**Just in time to see Nando stuff his hand into Brock's mouth, Teresa is wearing Lucian's glasses and Harley is groping people's bags. Teresa jumps in front of her mother and shouts,**

**"MOM! LOOKIT ME! IMMA NERD!" She starts pretending to pick her nose and Lucian blindly slaps the air in front of him. **

**"Gimme them..." Alejandra goes green and runs up the stairs screaming. Then back down, grabbing us by the hands.**

**"You boys are gonna be locked up so you think about your actions. Like a time-out." Lucian begins hyperventilating noisily next to me, changing colours faster than a chameleon on a mood ring. Brock is whining like a dog. Alejandra drags up upstairs and tosses us inside a cupboard, locking the door. I hear Brock groping for the light switch. Something cold is squirming on my back.**

**"Harley, keep your ice cream away from me."**

**"Ash..."**

**"What?" Harley is staring at my shoulder like a freak,**

**"PYTHON!" He shrieks. Nando picks up a lamp,**

**"Stay still, it's Teresa's python Ice Cream."**

**"So it _was_ ice cream. Just the wrong kind." The snake is staring at me like Harley was, hissing in my face. He slithers down my right arm and into a box. Lucian looks like he's about to pass out,**

**"I'm so frigging claustrophobic right now..." **

**"Look at the wall."**

**"You're stupid." Harley goes pretty much crazy right about then,**

**"LET US OOOUUUUUT!" He screams, banging on the door. Lucian gets pissed,**

**"Will you stop? You're doing it wrong." So he starts screaming and banging his knee into the door knob. Which flies off. Of course. Nando is obviously completely steamed,**

**"You _IDIOT_! You just permanently locked us in here! We're all gonna diiiiiiiiiiie in here..." With that he slaps Brock.**

**"What did I do?"**

**"Went against your beliefs."**

**"HOW?"**

**"Shut...up, so we can conserve oxygen." Lucian whines something from inside a box, then says it so we can all hear it.**

**"I wanted to get to second base with Ramira."**

**"What about the sleepover?"**

**"Fallon walked in on us. I was about 3 seconds away." With that he slams his face back into the box. Harley whacks his hand against the ceiling. On purpose, and a little door opens.**

**"Oh, good Lord..." says Harley,**

**"What?"**

**"Nando, remember that time when we were about 8 and we opened that door and got stuck on the roof for about an hour?"**

**"How the hell could I forget?"**

**"I think we're gonna do that again." Harley grabs the corner of the opening and pulls himself up, we all follow. Brock shuts the door when we're all out. **

**"EWWWW! WHAT'S THAT?" Harley screams, pointing to a white ball of bird crap. Nobody responds. Nando looks at all of us and inches toward the edge of the roof. **

**"LEUKEMIA, TAKE ME NOW!" with that he jumps off the roof.**

**"HOLY CRAP!" screams Lucian. There's a splash and a dull whine of 'Shit. I landed in the pool'. We all look over the edge of the roof and see Nando, completely wet, with eyeliner running down his face. Brock screams,**

**"WE'RE GONNA COME DOWN." He grabs my hand and drags me off the roof, screeching all the way, I feel someone land on me, but not with a lot of force...Lucian probably. (People who weigh less than anorexic feathers never really hurt.) Nando's already out of the pool and laughing at us. **

**"Harley, what are you _doing_?" Harley has both of his legs around Lucian's neck. **

**"AGH! SORRY I-" Lucian gets a look across his face that pretty much says it all,**

**"NYAAAAAAAAA...HAIYAAAAAA...smaaaaaaaanaaasasama...AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Lucian hops out of the pool and runs into the house, meets Alejandra and runs back into the pool. Alejandra comes outside,**

**"WHAT THE HELL DID I TELL YOU?"**

**

* * *

**

**The whole drive back to camp, Alejandra looks dangerous. Nando's car keys have been confiscated because he 'violated his mother's trust and attempted suicide'. I think Alejandra was smart to do that, seeing as with Nando, one or both of those things is going to happen sooner or later... The second we get into our cabin, Alejandra screams from the car,**

**"BYE, NANDO! DON'T FORGET TO TAKE YOUR MEDS! OH HI, FALLON, HEY, NANDO, IT'S FALLON, THE GIRL YOU HAVE DREAMS ABOUT!" Nando looks at all of us,**

**"Gimme a second." he walks over to a tree, and starts smacking his head against a low-hanging branch. Alejandra drives away. Fallon is talking to some girl who I think is named Natalia, I go over to her.**

**"Hey Fallon." I lean my hand against a bench, to look cool, you know. Sadly, the bench is much lower than I anticipated, and I fall. Flipping over the back of the bench, only to have it fall on me. Fallon screams,**

**"OH MY GOD! ARE YOU OKAY?"**

**"Yeah, I think." I have blood pulsing out of my hands. And who should be standing over me but Nando.**

**"What are you doing? Lying on the ground..."**

**"I fell, Genius." He looks around,**

**"From where? You can't jump very far, I know because you landed on the edge of the pool, when we jumped off the roof at my house..."**

**"I fell over the bench." I wipe my bloody hands on his shirt,**

**"WHAT THE HELL?"**

**"You like blood, I don't. Deal with it."**


End file.
